Love Haters, Freedom Fighters?

One of the big deals on WordPress this week involved the ire of some bloggers who didn’t like the rainbow banner emblazoned across their site as WordPress (I’m guessing) tipped a hat to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage.

At first the whole anger reaction made me sad. I know I may ruffle some feathers here but, honestly, I’ve never understood anyone’s objection to gay marriage. How can something borne of love be a bad thing in anyone’s eyes? I’ve heard the rationale that gay marriage will ruin marriage. Well, folks, haven’t we already ruined marriage with our more than 50% divorce rate here in America? Haven’t we screwed up marriage with our TV shows showing strangers getting married on their first date? Or the shows in which a marriage partner is selected during a televised competition? Or the reality TV shows inside the very personal life of a celebrity family where we see the dirty underbelly of way too much intimacy in way too public a forum? In how much worse shape could marriage be?

And the marriage these people are protecting? It’s already evolved.  Marriage didn’t always involve religion, it was an arrangement between families. In Biblical times, marriage was polygamous. It didn’t morph into monogamy until at least the sixth century. It was also more about business and land alliances than true love. Love’s only been a big part of marriage for a few hundred years. Don’t even get me started on how little women got to say (and in some parts of the world still don’t) about who they married and when.

Readers of this blog or my book know my family story isn’t a pretty one. If gay people or any people want to form families of love and respect and support, why oh why would anyone say no? We have so much that tears us apart as people, why not embrace anything that brings us together?

Having said that, back to the ire about the WordPress rainbow banner — I loved it but others did not because it represented a political or social point of view with which they disagreed. While their disagreement makes me sad for them and everyone who agrees with them, I actually understand their objection. I wouldn’t want WordPress emblazoning my blog with a political point of view radically opposed to my own.

I celebrate the freedom secured by this Supreme Court decision. Makes me proud to be an American. But with that freedom comes the responsibility  to not shove our own points of view or agenda down anyone’s throat. (We’ve done that and it has dire consequences. I’m looking at you Iraq war.) What did you think about the banner? Did it offend?

19 thoughts on “Love Haters, Freedom Fighters?

  1. I’m not gay but never have problems of them. Humanity teach us to treat everyone, no matter age, sex or even gay etc. we must accept people who they are. And because of my psychology study, i knew that there’s a biological reasons that we human can’t ignore, there are tons of scientific experiments / documentaries discovering this topic already and the myths have already disclosed early ago but people chose not to believe / listen / accept.

    There are really some people who born like the same sex. they can’t control themselves and we normal people always feel there must something wrong with them. this is a tough topic to discuss as it’s still a taboo in many societies.

    I don’t understand why people spent such a lot of time / energy to against others’ will but don’t pay much attention on daily issues, e.g. wars, domestic violence, inequality, poverty, etc.

    It’s sad to see people think there’s only 1 way to live a life and we believe what we suppose to be educated since born.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It never offended me, but then I’m a gay man. However, anything that celebrates love, rather than war, terrorism, and death, is in my mind very welcome. Goodness, after what happened in Tunisia, France and Kuwait last Friday we should never deny anyone wanting to love and care for a person of the same sex.

    Well written and said, Debby.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Hugh. You’re right about caring more about the horrors and injustices of the world than about what two people in love may choose to do with their personal lives. And, clearly you don’t have to be a gay man to think so! I am neither, but some of my best friends… 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. A really thoughtful, informative piece, Debby. I especially like your inclusion of the polygamous, historical and biblical references. It’s so easy for folks to only hear/see/read that which reinforces their own belief system.

    I thought the rainbow banner was beautiful, and was glad to see love celebrated. I changed my Facebook profile pic to the rainbow flag, and watched as a few old friends squirmed. That was not my intention, but if they were uncomfortable, they were at least kind in their comments. I read that folks lost of a lot of “friends” over the issue last week. Ba’ Bye. ! ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for the kind words. I just thought a bit of historical perspective would help but really, I know I’m not changing anyone’s mind about this issue. However, it doesn’t stop me from trying.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I celebrated the banner completely and wrote about it on my blog. It is time for people, all people, to be treated equally. If I have a choice to marry as a straight woman I want that choice for all. Everyone deserves to be who they are. Understanding and acceptance of our similarities and differences would make our world a much more peaceful one.

    Liked by 1 person

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